This letter is sealed with a vampire kiss and bite. If you have no time to buy a costume, go to your Halloween party in a suit, and say you’re a hit man. Halloween is the one time of year where grown women can dress like hookers and no one will care. Know why mummies never reveal their true age? How can you tell if a vampire has a cold? I’d have to be a ghoul not to appreciate you. Know how Frankenstein likes his potatoes? I am guilty of eating candy in cold blood. Look, there’s no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.įree flying lessons, BYOB. Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. Life with you is just getting boo-tter and better. No body's perfect, but a Jesus workout could help.ġ01.Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m out of candy, look how scary are you. Wrinkled with problems? Come to the Lord's House for a faith lift.ĩ7. Free Coffee! Yes, membership has its benefits!ĩ6. Addicted to the Hokey Pokey, so I turned myself around.ĩ4. Maury isn't the only place where people find their Fathers.ĩ3. If you're praying for a blizzard, please go to Dairy Queen.ĩ1. Our church is like fudge: sweet with a few nuts.Ĩ9. Dust on your Bible leads to dirt in your life.Ĩ8. God wants full custody, not just weekend visits.Ĩ7. Thou shalt not steal copper from our A/C unit.Ĩ6. Give Satan an inch and he'll become your ruler.Ĩ5. What did Adam say to Eve? I'll wear the plants in this family.Ĩ4. Download your worries and get online with God.Ĩ0. Feeling warm? This church is prayer-conditioned.ħ8. We are not Dairy Queen, but we do have great Sundays!ħ7. Forecast for tomorrow: God reigns and the Son shines.ħ6. Walmart is not the only place for savings.ħ5. Eternity is a long time to think about where you went wrong.ħ2. Jesus said "I'll be back" way before Arnold did.Ħ8. The manger was the first king-sized bed.Ħ6. Practice thanking God for more than elastic waistbands.Ħ4. Jesus: Your get-out-of-Hell-free card.Ħ3. Bring your sin to the altar and drop it like it's hot. If your life stinks, we have a pew for you.Ħ0. You may party in Hell, but you will be the barbecue.ĥ9. iPod? iPad? Try iPray! God is listening!ĥ8. Keep using my name in vain, and I'll make rush hour longer. Does your spiritual house need spring cleaning?ĥ5. What happens in Vegas is forgiven here.ĥ4. God didn't create anything without purpose, but mosquitoes do come close!ĥ3. Prophecy class cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.ĥ2. ![]() Under the same management for more than 2,000 years.ĥ1. If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.ĥ0. You certainly don't want to face an eternal one!Ĥ8. What could this sign say to get you here on Sunday?Ĥ6. Can't sleep? Counting sheep? Talk to the Shepherd!Ĥ4. I am also making a list and checking it twice. God loves you whether you like it or not.Ĥ0. I was going to waste, but Jesus recycled me.ģ9. Your name may be on a bottle of Coke, but is it in the Book of Life?ģ8. Adam and Eve: The first people to read the Apple terms and conditions.ģ5. How do we make Holy Water? We boil the Hell out of it!ģ3. When gratitude becomes your default setting, life changes.ģ2. You have one new friend request from: Jesus.Ģ9. ![]() Looking for the perfect gift? Find Him here.Ģ8. Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?Ģ7. Lord, help us be the people our dogs think we are.Ģ5. If you are more fortunate than others, build a longer table, not a taller fence.Ģ4. The best vitamin for a believer is B1.Ģ2. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.ġ9. Text and drive if you want to meet him.ġ7. Always remember that Hell is really un-cool.ġ6. ![]() No SPF needed to spend time with the Son.ġ4. Don't give up! Moses was once a basket case!ġ1. ![]() Tweet others as you would like to be tweeted.ġ0. Acting up in church is like dressing up for an X-ray.ĩ. Store the Bible in your heart, not on a shelf.Ĩ. Do you spend your time with God's book or Facebook?ħ. What section would you prefer in the afterlife? Smoking or non-smoking?ĥ. Hipster Jesus loved you before you were cool.Ĥ. The fact that there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.ģ. We provide the quality signs and services needed for your organization to thrive through effective communication.įor over half a century, we have been the trusted partner for sign projects of all sizes. Increase attendance, grow membership, and promote programs and events with America's church sign company of choice. In honor of all things rooted in hilarity, here are 101 of the funniest church sign sayings we've noticed when congregations are getting the Good Word out about God. Everyone loves a funny sign, and sometimes humor is found in places you'd least expect it.Ĭhurches, in particular, have a way of handing out unexpected laughs to passersby.
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